he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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