Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
