when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
