Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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