She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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