he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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