Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
