what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
