drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
