Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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