Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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