Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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