omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
