She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
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One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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