Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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