i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
