last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
