either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
