he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
