three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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