babies were throwing up all over the place
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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