Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I want to make a zoo with you.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
