how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
