He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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