I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
