For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
