We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
