So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Let's get the cat blown out
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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