the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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