Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
