You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
