i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Less talking, more tequila
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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