This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
