"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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