Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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