Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
