Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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