Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick

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(856): View more from New Jersey

It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.

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(630): View more from Illinois

You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them

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(630): View more from Illinois

He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.

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