Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i jhust puked up my retainher.

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  (313): i jhust puked up my retainher. http://tfl.nu/zdlf
  Replies (3) Good night (747) Bad night (1337)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.

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  (302): Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace. http://tfl.nu/xnkm
  Replies (9) Good night (879) Bad night (2818)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  I plan on gettn treatment center drunk

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  (682): I plan on gettn treatment center drunk http://tfl.nu/t6du
  Replies (3) Good night (2262) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half

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  (661): Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half http://tfl.nu/okef
  Replies (14) Good night (1031) Bad night (3933)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.

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  (479): I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast. http://tfl.nu/j7ef
  Replies (14) Good night (4812) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.

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  (651): asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night. http://tfl.nu/52m5
  Replies (13) Good night (1556) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.

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  (513): I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda. http://tfl.nu/j95t
  Replies (20) Good night (2191) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.

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  (484): After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me. http://tfl.nu/p7tl
  Replies (6) Good night (841) Bad night (1539)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun

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  (919): You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun http://tfl.nu/syyf
  Replies (1) Good night (885) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...

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  (360): Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one... http://tfl.nu/mmlz
  Replies (2) Good night (847) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.

  (1-504): View more from Louisiana

  Oh shit. This is getting real.

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  (504): Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning. (1-504): Oh shit. This is getting real. http://tfl.nu/zlj3
  Replies (8) Good night (1296) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship

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  (815): Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship http://tfl.nu/8hbk
  Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION

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  (860): THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION http://tfl.nu/ap2c
  Replies (2) Good night (537) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.

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  (214): NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS (630): Fine. Suck all the fun out of life. http://tfl.nu/x7gr
  Replies (4) Good night (653) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.

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  (973): Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery. http://tfl.nu/x3iz
  Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (236)

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