Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.

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(513): so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup. http://tfl.nu/hrhi

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(805): View more from California

It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"

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(805): It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!" http://tfl.nu/5h66

Replies (38) Good night (7456) Bad night (977)
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(585): View more from New York

we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist

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(585): we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist http://tfl.nu/e75m

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(818): View more from California

Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"

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(818): Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is" http://tfl.nu/fthj

Replies (43) Good night (7552) Bad night (2032)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.

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(910): We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works. http://tfl.nu/uib3

Replies (45) Good night (5932) Bad night (1385)
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(815): View more from Illinois

$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.

(212): View more from New York

Please take video.

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(815): $1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween. (212): Please take video. http://tfl.nu/t1i5

Replies (13) Good night (6599) Bad night (805)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split

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(401): I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split http://tfl.nu/416l

Replies (11) Good night (1017) Bad night (2444)
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(512): View more from Texas

Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?

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(512): Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits? http://tfl.nu/6yhs

Replies (84) Good night (1612) Bad night (11164)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.

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(603): All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident. http://tfl.nu/iw55

Replies (7) Good night (3096) Bad night (962)
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(765): View more from Indiana

I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.

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(765): I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it. http://tfl.nu/7uod

Replies (9) Good night (2043) Bad night (690)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?

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(919): At what point would you like us to save you from yourself? http://tfl.nu/30aa

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(314): View more from Missouri

CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED

(+04): View more from

Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.

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(314): CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED (+04): Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you. http://tfl.nu/xp3j

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(360): View more from Washington

So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.

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(360): So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace. http://tfl.nu/c8hs

Replies (5) Good night (1401) Bad night (470)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.

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(484): His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/tfvq

Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (749)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing

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(717): I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing http://tfl.nu/zf0p

Replies (1) Good night (363) Bad night (242)

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