I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
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But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
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At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.