Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence