Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

from now on my penis is your penis

Fav 19 3227 944
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(510): View more from California

he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.

Fav 46 1106 6004
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?

Fav 29 1172 4264
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(516): View more from New York

What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?

Fav 13 722 1787
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(514): View more from Quebec

can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??

Fav 6 2112 957
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(714): View more from California

Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.

Fav 16 3161 1495
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(919): View more from North Carolina

What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?

Fav 4 1502 743
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.

Fav 0 339 183
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(636): View more from Missouri

It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...

Fav 1 19 17
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