What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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