I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
