i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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