please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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