he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
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This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
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It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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