Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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