Duck Duck Cougar?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
