Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
