ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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