So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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