Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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