I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
pop tarts are not kleenex
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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