You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
