You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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