When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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