This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
