The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
