It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
