I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
