Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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