im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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